Warning: these tips are strictly for married couples due to the sacrifices involved to practice them, so if you are still doing boyfriend and girlfriend, you should use them at your own risk.
When you mention the word intimacy, The word can evoke a kaleidoscope of emotions. From love, excitement, tenderness to longing, anxiety, and disappointment. And so many people will encounter all these emotions and many others in the course of their relationships. Your understanding of yourselves as emotional beings, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying emotional connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling relationship.
Many couples find it difficult to talk about intimacy even under the best of circumstances. Feelings of hurt, when sexual problems occur, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a closer emotional bond, but also to a better sex life. Everywhere in the world and in Nigeria especially, we have grown to be slightly or overly ashamed of our emotional and intimate wants and needs for fear of being socially crucified by the average thinkers and even our partners.
When a wife demands for a change from the conventional sex position and wants to try other positions, she is an ashawo.
When a couple decides to eat from the same plate in restaurants, they are show offs and been childish.
When a man decides to listen to his wife most of the time based on reasons best known to him, he a woman wrapper.
When a woman wants to spend a whole lot of time with hussy, she's been in too clingy.
When a woman gets to a certain age, the average thinkers are on her neck, and you hear things like; go and find a husband and so many more.
When a couple decides to eat from the same plate in restaurants, they are show offs and been childish.
When a man decides to listen to his wife most of the time based on reasons best known to him, he a woman wrapper.
When a woman wants to spend a whole lot of time with hussy, she's been in too clingy.
When a woman gets to a certain age, the average thinkers are on her neck, and you hear things like; go and find a husband and so many more.
You may not believe, but all these unintelligent talks, thoughts and ideologies shape relationships and marriages in Nigeria. Though a lot of people these days are actually escaping the average thinkers zone and settings standards and goals for their relationships and marriages regardless of what anybody or the average thinkers have to say. Also a lot of people try hard to escape but still fall back to average thinking
Here are some tips to tackling this sensitive issue.
Avoid mediocre ideologies and average thinking.
Your relationship is about you and your partner alone, so forget mediocre relationship advice from the so-called social circle, compulsory cultural patterns, religious brouhaha and small talks from peeps. The foundation of your relationship should be built on the wants and needs of you and your partner which obviously varies from couple to couple. If its npt a crime to man and a sin to God then you are good to go.
Your relationship is about you and your partner alone, so forget mediocre relationship advice from the so-called social circle, compulsory cultural patterns, religious brouhaha and small talks from peeps. The foundation of your relationship should be built on the wants and needs of you and your partner which obviously varies from couple to couple. If its npt a crime to man and a sin to God then you are good to go.
Find the right time to talk
There are two types of intimacy conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It’s perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking, but it’s best to wait until you’re in a more neutral setting to discuss negative issues, such as mismatched sexual desire, orgasm troubles e.t.c
There are two types of intimacy conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It’s perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking, but it’s best to wait until you’re in a more neutral setting to discuss negative issues, such as mismatched sexual desire, orgasm troubles e.t.c
Try to Avoid criticizing
Make suggestions in positive terms, such as, "I really love it when you touch my hair lightly that way," rather than focusing on the negatives, approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in passing blame. Instead of criticizing, lead your partner down a path By making your statements suggestive. You play so much with my nipples before sex, I love it is the first time to the first time OR When you play in between my thighs, it drives me crazy please don't stop doing it. When you start like this, it increases the urge to communicate more. Then you can Slowly chip in the negative later on if there is any.
Make suggestions in positive terms, such as, "I really love it when you touch my hair lightly that way," rather than focusing on the negatives, approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in passing blame. Instead of criticizing, lead your partner down a path By making your statements suggestive. You play so much with my nipples before sex, I love it is the first time to the first time OR When you play in between my thighs, it drives me crazy please don't stop doing it. When you start like this, it increases the urge to communicate more. Then you can Slowly chip in the negative later on if there is any.
Confide in your partner about changes in your body
Men can be clueless about changes that occur in women. Enlighten him! hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. It’s much better that he knows what’s really going on so he wouldn't interpret these changes as lack of interest. Likewise, if you’re a man and you no longer get an erection just from the thought of sex and you need more to get junior ready for action, show your partner how to stimulate you rather than let her believe she isn’t beautiful and attractive enough to arouse you anymore.
Men can be clueless about changes that occur in women. Enlighten him! hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. It’s much better that he knows what’s really going on so he wouldn't interpret these changes as lack of interest. Likewise, if you’re a man and you no longer get an erection just from the thought of sex and you need more to get junior ready for action, show your partner how to stimulate you rather than let her believe she isn’t beautiful and attractive enough to arouse you anymore.
Always Be honest
You may think you’re protecting your partner’s feelings by faking an orgasm and pretending to enjoy sex, but in reality you’re starting down a slippery slope. Think of what will happen to you in the long run. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment. Learn to be honest and with the tips mentioned above, you can bring out issues and tackle it without any party feeling bad.
You may think you’re protecting your partner’s feelings by faking an orgasm and pretending to enjoy sex, but in reality you’re starting down a slippery slope. Think of what will happen to you in the long run. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment. Learn to be honest and with the tips mentioned above, you can bring out issues and tackle it without any party feeling bad.
Make your sex fun
Even in the best relationship, sex can become quite boring after a couple of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. Share those naughty taught with each other. By saying them, you increase urge for sex and also state your wants to your partner so he/she can resonate with you on that level. Baby! please wear that very short skirt while cooking and cleaning it turns me on. Sex in marriage is not only about getting down to business proper........environment, music, weather, type of clothe, food and many more contribute to good sex. Learn how to manipulate your environment and the things present in it and you will be all your partner wants to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Even in the best relationship, sex can become quite boring after a couple of years. With a little bit of imagination, you can rekindle the spark. Share those naughty taught with each other. By saying them, you increase urge for sex and also state your wants to your partner so he/she can resonate with you on that level. Baby! please wear that very short skirt while cooking and cleaning it turns me on. Sex in marriage is not only about getting down to business proper........environment, music, weather, type of clothe, food and many more contribute to good sex. Learn how to manipulate your environment and the things present in it and you will be all your partner wants to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Be adventurous
In Nigeria, most couples think you should only have sex in the bedroom. every other place is a sin and an abomination. Seriously? This is the first step to kill your sexual life with your partner. Maybe you’ve never had sex on the living room floor or in the bathroom or book an hotel room for yourselves just to explore your bodies; now might be the time to try it.
In Nigeria, most couples think you should only have sex in the bedroom. every other place is a sin and an abomination. Seriously? This is the first step to kill your sexual life with your partner. Maybe you’ve never had sex on the living room floor or in the bathroom or book an hotel room for yourselves just to explore your bodies; now might be the time to try it.
Be sensual
Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all your senses. Concentrate on the feel of your partner's body against your skin, the cool music in the background( if you don't have a music player in your room, please install one. E no cost, and if this doesn't work as i have said, email me i will pay for the money wasted). the perfumed scent of flowers around the room and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit( try fruits like berries, bananas,). Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner. I will teach you how to use these fruits in the next article ( sex tips! the real deal)
Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all your senses. Concentrate on the feel of your partner's body against your skin, the cool music in the background( if you don't have a music player in your room, please install one. E no cost, and if this doesn't work as i have said, email me i will pay for the money wasted). the perfumed scent of flowers around the room and the taste of ripe, juicy fruit( try fruits like berries, bananas,). Use this heightened sensual awareness when making love to your partner. I will teach you how to use these fruits in the next article ( sex tips! the real deal)
Be playful
Leave love notes in your partner’s pocket for him or her to find later. Take a bath together—the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub can be a great lead-in to sex. Tickle her, Laugh, play like kids, joke in the bedroom and outside, hold hand like teenagers, eat from the same plate in restaurants( oboy things to do plenty no be small).
Leave love notes in your partner’s pocket for him or her to find later. Take a bath together—the warm cozy feeling you have when you get out of the tub can be a great lead-in to sex. Tickle her, Laugh, play like kids, joke in the bedroom and outside, hold hand like teenagers, eat from the same plate in restaurants( oboy things to do plenty no be small).
Be creative
Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts. if you’re used to making love on in a certain way and place, try something different. For those that have good voices, you can try singing to her even write a song. Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sexy lingerie and dancing or if you never have before.
Expand your sexual repertoire and vary your scripts. if you’re used to making love on in a certain way and place, try something different. For those that have good voices, you can try singing to her even write a song. Experiment with new positions and activities. Try sexy lingerie and dancing or if you never have before.
Be romantic
Read poetry to each other under a tree or in a garden Surprise your partner with gifts( men love gifts too as much as women) when it isn’t a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate. The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information and a positive outlook, you should be able to maintain a healthy sex life for many years to come.
Read poetry to each other under a tree or in a garden Surprise your partner with gifts( men love gifts too as much as women) when it isn’t a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate. The most important tool you have at your disposal is your attitude about sexuality. Armed with good information and a positive outlook, you should be able to maintain a healthy sex life for many years to come.
Yes! All these and more should you do to increase your intimacy level. Increase your connection with your partner and make your marriage work. Most partners have never learnt how to communicate as couples, without this skill, a person is handicapped in an intimate relationship. Without being able to express themselves and listen to another, partners cannot achieve intimacy. By developing your communication skills, you and your partner will be able to establish and preserve a loving, respectful relationship between two people who love each other.
Women! Do not think these writeup is only for men only. be spontaneous and start doing some or all of these things. Initiate the ideas, be sexy and sensual and he will crave for you. Do not allow the numerous numbers of mistresses lurking around to do it for you.
The next post will on kworkirikwo proper( whatever that means).you want to know? Join me next time.
Women! Do not think these writeup is only for men only. be spontaneous and start doing some or all of these things. Initiate the ideas, be sexy and sensual and he will crave for you. Do not allow the numerous numbers of mistresses lurking around to do it for you.
The next post will on kworkirikwo proper( whatever that means).you want to know? Join me next time.
Am loving this blog every passing moment, thumbs up Mr ringworm. Hehehehe
ReplyDeleteThanks so much mitchell
ReplyDeleteWhat if i do all this and my partner doesnt still feel me, whose problem would it be?
ReplyDeleteNice question miss dunkwu but the problem with your question is the word "i". If you read the article thoroughly you will realize to increase intimacy with your partner, there is no "I" only "we". When both parties share the joy, love, pain and happiness together, who will now say am doing more and your doing less? Of course no one, because you both are in it together. There can never be any intimacy problem if both parties are ready to make it work so miss dunkwu reason more on the "we" and not the "I".
ReplyDelete